i just know this will take me an eternity

Dec 28, 201719 min read

Deviation Actions

Published: Dec 28, 2017

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1. Name: well i e x p o s e d myself earlier this week, it's jaydn
2. Nickname(s): jay,,, courtney apparently too
3. Birthday: may 22
4. That makes you (age): i mean it's probably on my profile
5. Where were you born (city): southampton lol B)
6. Location right now (planet LOL

): isle of wight - i LOVE that nobody has literally ever heard of the isle of weight in the entire fuckin universe
7. Shoe size: 8 (uk size). i'm an bigg boi-
8. How many piercings?: used to have 2; they closed
9. Tattoos?: i wish
10. When you wake up you're: regretting going to sleep at 5 am after eating that much cheese cake
11. When your about to sleep you're: correcting this question to *you're
12. Zodiac sign: gemini
13. Chinese sign: sheeple
14. Righty or Lefty: rightu
15. Innie or Outie: innie
16. School: my school has been in the news so if you look up my location lol you'll likely find it whoops

Section Two: Looks

17. Nationality: w h i t e british
18. Hair colour: i'M NATURALLY BLONDEEEE AHAHAAH but im blacc rn
20. Weight: fucking obese - not joking ---- hate myself lol
21. Height: average, so like 5'4"?
22. Braces?: might be getting them?
23. Glasses?: yes and i l o v e how they make me look

Section Three: Private Life

24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend?: no
25. If so, who?: no
26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? used to, but no
27. Who has a crush on you? nobody what the fuck
28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? yucc no
29. Who was your first kiss: my first mouth to mouth kiss was an edgelord girl on a bus with our group of 10 friends. we were intimidating. first actual like more-than-one-second one was an italian boy and i felt really bad because i did nothing i just froze up. poor boi. also we still go to the same school and it's fuckin torture bc he either nods at me in acknowledgement or completely blanks me and i'm likE ?????? WHAT DO OYOU WANT FROM ME??? YOU SPAGHETTI FUCK-
30. Who was your last kiss: my m u ,m
31. Are you a virgin? yes
32. Ever had a threesome before? no
33. NQ- Every been swarmed by ladybugs?: no
34. Have you ever been in love? a bit
35. Broken any hearts? don't think so
36. Got your heart broken? yeah but not romantically
37. Ever liked a friend? a tiny bit
38. What happened? nothing it usually fades away

Section Four: Past Relationships

39. How many relationships have you been in? idkkkkk
40. How many were serious enough to count: i guess 1?
41. Who were those serious ones: i don't know how serious SERIOUS actually is, but i guess this trans boy i dated (i'm non-binary and someone called us "gay-ception" and i love it)
42. NQ- Who used to be your best friend: THIS FUCKING THOT FJDSKLFJDSK I HATE HER SOO MUCH NOW FUCKING HELL
43. What made them different: her humor (at the time) was rlly original and "NiCe MEme bRO" back when we were 11
44. What happened: she grew out of her emo phase, i didn't (and i'm slowly turning goth, help), she's a thot now, aaaaaaand a normie, and she left school !! yay ! but now she's coming back. and my tutor said she'd be in our same class again. i asked her "why?" and my tutor laughed and said "sorry. merry christmas?" nice meme.
45. Best boy/girlfriend: not
46. Worst boy/girlfriend: idk
47. Ever been kissed: yes fcuk off stop rEMINDING ME OF MY EMBARRASSING LIFE-
48. Who do you want back: nah nobody
49. Who do you regret: lots of the normie boys from primary school
50. Why?: they're all NORMIES

Section Five: Favourites

51. Song: RIGHT NOW THERE'S TWO: Dazed and Confused by Die Antwoord annndd ANYTHING BY MARILYN MANSON. good song.
52. Movie: anything tim burton???
53. Food: ew don't have one
54. Drink: apple juice or water -
55. Store: it'd probably be Hot Topic if the UK actually had one.. UK FUCKING GET ON THAT-
56. Television show: stranger things, bc i don't watch much stuff (oh and american horror story!)
57. Holiday: ummmmmmmmmmmmm chrimmas
58. Book: no
59. Ice cream: cookie dough or plain ol strawberru
60. Sweets: i like most-
61. Crisps: ready salted walkers B)
62. Type of music: if you haven't fucking guessed i like edgy edge
63. Artist: m a ri l y n ,,, m a n s o n
64. Word: i was gonna make an EDGYXDDDD joke but it would ACTUALLY offend people so i'll just stick with "idk there's a lot of words y'know".
65. Time of day: night
66. Dressing: nopeeee
67. Alcoholic drink: i like JD and Babycham bc i'm gross
68. Colour(s): blacc or green
69. Piece of clothing: either my manson shirts or my new goffik boots!
70. Character: TATE !!!! TATE LANDGON !!!!!!!!!! BY BABY---
71. Smell: chopped grass
72. Shampoo: no?
73. Soap: idk
74. Smiley: :') or :: ))))))
75. Board game: no
76. Sport: NO
77. Number: 8
78. Quote: anything me and my friends say
79. Animal: doggo or lynx
80. Actor: probs anyone from stranger things so like joe keeny or other hottiez like him
82. Vegetable: I ACTUALLY LOVE BRUSSEL FUCKING SPROUTS
83. Fruit: pineappl
84. Place to be: away
85. Thing in your room: posters
86. Gum: bubblegum
87. Shape: circle
88. Country: my own
89. Mall: The Marylands !!!
90. Car: batmobile B)
91. Boy's name: anything that's like "OUT oF ThiS WoRLD!!1! XDDDD" like neo or some shit
92. Girl's name: ^
93. Family member: mother probs
94. Restaurant: there's a street food restaurant down near where i live called NoMan's i think? IT'S FUCKING AMAZING-
95. Movie place: cineworld B)
96. Person to go to the movies with: NOT my best friend alone because he makes me laugh so much and i feel bad for other people so maybe a group of friends with him too
97. Noise: [link]
98. Brand of shoe: !!!!!!!!!!! NEWROCK!
99. Brand of clothing: g o f f i k
100. Body part of a chicken: chin
101. Swear word: F U CC
102. Month: idk
103. Possession: stuff in my room
104. Team: ???????????
105. Season: autumn
106. Radio station: kerrang or scuzz bc im a goff
107. Magazine: KERRANG
108. Favourite grade: none
109. Least favourite grade: all
110. Teacher: maths teacher bc he's USUALLY a funny meme
111. Least favourite teacher: every fucking one else
112. Subject: ???? media possibly, idk, i hate everything
113. Subject to talk about: stuff i'm passionate about

Section Six: Family

114. Who's your mum?: jill
115. Who's your dad?: r o b e r t lol
116. Any step-parents?: yi
117. Any brothers?: yes
118. Any Sisters?: no
120. Coolest: step dad!!
121. Loudest: bronthur
122. Best relative: idkdikddidk
123. Worse relative: my uncle's a twat
124. Do you get along with your parents? yeah
125. With your siblings? sort of..
126. Does anyone understand you? why is this question so edgy
127. Do you have any pets?: FOUR DOGS, TWO FERRETS, FOUR THREE GUINEAPIGS, 65 CHICKENS ALL IN ONE FUCKING HOUSE BROS BEAT THAT
128. If so, what kind and name? NO
129. If not, what do you want as a pet?: i want... a samoyed...

Section Seven: School

131. Are you still in school? ye
132. Did you drop out?: no
133. Your current GPA: i dont fucking know
134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: usually buy sometimes bring
135. ABC's?: ???? wtf
136. Favorite class: none
137. Play any sports at school?: NO FUCK OFF
138. Are you popular? no. i hate everyone and everyone hates me. i want to CRRYYY the second i walk in.
139. Favourite memory: when we went on lockdown. the REASON for the lockdown wasn't great (someone jumped off of the balconies, so yknow, tried to kill themself) but the lockdown itself was actually not horrible. some kids did have crazy panic attacks though )': poor jack
140. Most humiliating moment: every. fucking. day. i do. an y thi n g.
141. Most funniest moment: SO FUCKING MANY!!!!!!!!!!!! and all of them you guys probably think are cRUeL or NOT FUnnY JUsT FuCKED Up ANYwaY
142. Most scared moment: lockdown also

Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear

145. Chicken: farms
146. Dog: SHIBA INU
147. Christina Aguilera: angelina jolie
148. Ricky Martin: the bit off american dad where they keep going "ricky martin!!" (but NOT the "ricky spaniissshh" bit)
149. 50 cent: 50 pence
150. Poop: toilet
151. Beach: horrible summer
152. Desert: trifle
153. Water: yummy
154. Osama: BOMB
155. Love: hearts
156. Your little brother: dont have one lol
157. Butt: no
158. Clowns: lol 'it' was a good movie
159. Wonder: book
16o. Brown: hair
161. Banana: yuck
162. Sex: illegal shit mdude
163. Parents: old and funny
164. Homosexuals: GAY RAINBOWS FUCK
165. God: yike

Section Nine: Do you believe in

166. God: not sure
167. Heaven: maybe
168. Devil: ye lol it's me
169. Hell: i'm going there-
170: Boogy man: no
171. Closet Monsters: ??? homosexuals aren't something you "believe in"...
172. Fortune tellings: n0
173. Magic: noooooooooooooooooooo
174. Love at first sight: fuck off
175. Ghosts: yes
176. Voo-doo dolls: no
177. Reincarnation: yee
178. Yourself: no lol

Section Ten: Do you

179. Smoke: ... sometimes??? like, not actively, but if someone offers i'll say yeah
180. Do drugs: nOOOOOOOOo
181. Drink alcohol: not often, anything i can get my hands on because i AM DESPERATE FOR ESCAPE OF EVERYTHING HORRIBLE AROUND ME AND I HATE EVERYTHING
182. Cuss: a bit maybe yeah no shit
183. Sing in the shower: no bc even if nobody's home they can hear me outside if they're just coming home bc shower is right next to the outside way to the front door
184. Like school: no
185. Want to get married: prolly
186. Type with all of your fingers: yeah
187. Think you're attractive: no
188. Drink and drive: i don't drive at all anyway-
189. Snore: i HOPE NOT?????
190. Sleep walk: nope
191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: no boring

Section Eleven: Have you ever

192. Flashed someone: EEK no
193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: no
194. Told that person how you felt: sort of
195. Been arrested: no but i have had the police visit me a couple times
196. Gone to jail or juve: no??
197. Skateboarded: no
198. Skinny dipped: NO
199. Rock climbed: no
200. Killed someone: I FUCKING WISH LOL EDGY
201. Watched porn: i mean everybody's come across it in their life -- (for me it's mostly on reddit)
202. Gone on a road trip: yeeaaaaa
203. Went out of the country: yas
204. Talked back to an adult: YE
205. Broken a law: yes probably a few tbh
206. Got pulled over: Noo
208: Cried to get out of trouble: when i was young yeah
209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: i'd let them but none have
210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: when i was fucking 6 yeah
211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: NO
212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: my borkers yeah
213. Moon someone: no but my friend has lol
214. Shop-lifted: BECAUSE I'M FUCKING TRASH I STOLE A MAGAZINE FROM MORRISONS THAT HAD MARILYN MANSON ON IT OH MY GOD BUT THEN MY FRIEND LOST IT AT HIS HOUSE ANYWAY
215. Worked at McDonald's: no
216. Eaten a dog: wtf no
217. Give money to a homeless person: no )': i wanted to tho
218. Glued your hand to yourself: ya llol
219. Kissed someone of the same sex: YES I'M G AY i'm not acc i'm pansexual but also sort of just - label-less -
220. Had a one night stand: no i'm three
221. Smoked: ya
222. Done drugs: noo
223. Lose a friend because of your ex: no
224. Slap someone for being stupid: yES
225. Had cyber sex: WHEN I WAS 11 ON MOVIE STAR FUCKING PLANET I GOT "MARRIED" TO SOMEONE
226. Wish you were the opposite sex: i did for a year or so but now i'm like "eh" about it
227. Caught someone doing something: yep woops too many
228. Played a game that removes clothing: NO
229. Cried during a movie: prolly
230. Cried over someone: yeah
231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: dont think so
232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: n0
233. Ran away from home: kinda?
234. Cheated on a test: no

Section Twelve: Would you

235. Bungee jump: nO
236. Sky dive: NONONO
237. Swim with dolphins: maybe
238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: no
239. Try to be the opposite sex: i have done back when i was 12 and confused about gender; i really liked it
240. Lie to the police: sort of
241. Run from the police: noo
242. Lie to your parents: yeah
243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: maybe
244. Be an exotic dancer: no i'm disgusting
245. NQ- Kill the president: maybe >B)

Section Thirteen: Are you

246. Shy: yes
247. Loud: depends on situation
248. Nice: fucking, ,, , no
249: Outgoing: sometimes
250: Quiet: yes
251. Mean: YEAH LOL
252. Emotional: ig
253. Sensitive: not much anymore
254. Gay: umbrella term yeah, but idk what to label myself atm. pansexual is what i normally go for.
255. Strong: bit
256. Weak: bit
257. Caring: usually, of friends
258. Dangerous: i can be
259. Crazy: shut the fuck up "crazy" omg,, you're being a 2009 edgelord,, sh u t uP
260. Spontaneous: ya
261. Funny: apparently so
262. Sweet: wot no
263. Sharing: kinda
264. Responsible: nop
265. Trustworthy: kinda
266. Open-minded: yeaHH
267. Creative: I THINK SO
268. Cute: n0
269. Slick: no
270. Smart: bit
271. Dumb: no, i can speak.
272. Evil: yes lol prolly
273. Ghetto: wtf does ghetto mean?????? i only know ghetto to be a place where a certain type of person is kept , like the jews were in a ghetto --- so how can someone BE GHETTO UGH SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU'RE AN ANNOYING QUESTION
274. Classy: someti,mes
275. Photogenic: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA no
276. Dependable: noo
277. Greedy: a bit
278. Ugly: big mood
279. Messy: gaha yes
280. Neat: no
281. Perverted: idk prolly not
282. Silly: ye
283. A B****: //"That girl... is a B, I, C, T... H." vine plays
284. A Good Listener: think so
285. A Fighter: not physically
286. A Party Animal: i do not think so
287. A Game Freak: i love games but never play them :'/ usually just watch-
288. A Computer Freak: YEPEYEP i have memorised the keyboard (typed this and that with my eyes closed but usually i'm just looking at the screen anyway so that's no different) <- I DID THAT WITH MY EYES SHUT OK I'M FUCKIGN ADDICTED TO COMPUTERs

Section Fourteen: Future

289. Dream job: no
290. Dream house: :v no
291. Husband/Wife: idk
292. Kids: probably
293. Names: idk
294. Pets: SAMOYED or snekk
295. Car: no idk
296. Age you would want to get married: idk
297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: k
298. Honeymoon: fuc off

Section Fifteen: Your friends

299. Best friend: i mean irl, louisssss
300. Known the longest: i'm gonna answer these in terms of REAL LIFE ok but i think lux
301. Craziest: shut the fuck up
302. Loudest: louis -
303. Shyest: ludvig

COME BACK

(( HE HAD TO MOVE BACK TO SWEDEN AND I MISS HIM
304. Best hair: charlie. he has... an a f r o. but not an AFRO AFRO, he doesn't have TIGHT curls,,,, but it curls enough to be an afro lol
305. Best eyes: martyna
306. Best body: martynaaa
307. Most Athletic: ME or lux or martyna
308. Hot-Tempered: m e
309. Most impatient: LOUIS
310. Shortest: etha lol
311. Tallest: charlieeee
312. Skinniest: ethan ,,
313. Best singer: idfk
314. Funniest: all of us
315. Can always make you laugh: the whole squad
316. Wish you talked to more: charlie because he's the most terrifying person he's so large but so.. .. s i l e n t . . .
317. Wish you saw more: dan
318. Who drives you insane after a while: lux ommgg
319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: louis orrr ethan
320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': no
321. Whose always been there when you need them: idkdikidk
322. Who is like your family: idk
323. How many friends do you have?: a small squad and friends outside of that
324. How many are really close? only a couple

Section Sixteen: The last

325. Thing you ate: bread sticks omg
326. Thing you drank: water
327. Thing you wore: pyjamas
328. Thing you did: did this journal
329. Place you went: town
330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: not
331. Person you saw: brother
332. Person you hugged: me mum
333. Person you kissed: uhoh
334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: ME
335. Person you talked to online: louis and cultcherry
336. Person you talked to on the phone: dad!
337. Song you heard: Die Antwoord - DADDY
338. Show you saw: Stranger thingz
339. Time you fought with your parents: 3am i think not rlly a fight but yknow
340. Time you fought with a friend: like in may
341. Words you said: "helo"

Section Seventeen: Now

343. What are you eating: nothing
344. What are you drinking: nothing
345. What are you thinking: when will this questionnaire be over
346. What are you wearing: black vest ("tanktop" in america??), grey zip up and red and blue tartan pyjama bottoms
347. What are you doing: this
349. Hair: down, extremely messy holy shit and it's straight but it might be wavy when it grows
350. Mood: i m p a t i e n t
351. Listening to: the fan of my pc (cultcherry I DIDN'T KNOW U LIKED KUBZSCOUTS OMG)
352. Talking to anyone: nope
353. Watching anything: my screen

Section Eighteen: Yes or No

354. Are you a vegetarian: no
355. Are you a carnivore: forgot
356. Are you heterosexual: no definitely not
357. Do you like penguins: no, boring
358. Do you write poetry: no im not THAT edgy
359. Do you see stupid people: wtf?????
360. You + Me: ok?
361. Do you like the Osbournes: SHARRON OSBOURNE??? YES FUCKING YES OMG AND OZZY IS GREAT TOO BUT FJDHNGJ I LOVE SHARRON!!!!!!!!!!!!
362. Can you see flying pigs: yes actually every day
363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: like one i think
364. Are you from Afghanistan: no wtf why is that so specific
365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: idk
366. Are you a zombie: yes obviously smh
367. Am i annoying you: yes
368. Do you bite your nails: no fuck off
369. Can you cross your eyes: ya
370. Do you make your bed in the morning: n0
371. Have you touched someone's private part: n o, by accident doesn't count

Section Nineteen: This or That

372. Winter or Summer: winter
373. Spring or Autumn: autumn
374. Shakira or Britney: br IT N E Y SP EARS
375. MTV or VH1: MTV
376. Black or White: blac
377. Yellow or Pink: ponk
378. Football or Basketball: basket
379. Mobile Phone or Pager: mob
380. Pen or Pencil: PEN
381. Cold or Hot: cold
382. Tattoos or Piercings: piercigsn
383. Inside or Outside: indoors
384. Weed or Alcohol: yeah
385. Coke or Pepsi: BEPSi
386. Tape or Glue: tape
387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: maccy d's

Section Twenty: Opinions

388. What do you think about classical music: it's fine, my friend likes it a lot bc he does a lot of piano stuff and i don't hate it yanno
389. About boy bands: fuck off
390. About suicide: it is not selfish at all. my mum says it is but she doesn't fully understand. it's fucking upsetting too.while i feel sad about people who do commit suicide, i admire their courage;; because they had the balls to do it. unlike me ;;; a fucking pussy ;;; who thought "hey here's a good idea let's take a whole packet of pain relief and see where that gets me" (it was hospital). i didn't wanna die but i wanted to hurt myself ;; i didn't want my mum to get involved tho but she did uGH sorry got a bit too real</small></small></small></small>
391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: FUCK OFF
392. About teen pregnancy: sometimes on first glance it's a bit "ughm,,, yikes" but i often forget that it's not always their fault and they should have as much support as they need
393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: 6 feet under ayy
394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: idk
395. About gay men: ok

Section Twenty-One:

396. Do you have a website: no
397. Current weather right now: sunny
398. Current time: 12:53 am
399. Any shout outs: fuc of
400. Last thoughts: IT'S FINALLY OVER